Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Lonely At The Top?
I've been wondering lately whether it is a given that once you achieve success in something, people automatically turn on you out of resentment or jealousy. There's a saying that it's lonely at the top.
I've heard reports from people around the country that folks are mean to them and the reason is simply that they are successful on the table. Is this just human nature?
I was talking to a feed salesman one day. He judges a different species - something a good bit larger than rabbits. He mentioned that when someone starts winning, folks begin treating them differently. He states that they are envious.
I have a friend who used to show horses. Her report was similar. Once she started winning, suddenly people started ignoring her and treating her with disdain. She said that when she was no threat to the winners in the ring, they were friendly to her. It was only after she became a challenge that their real personalities came out.
So is it inevitable? Or does it only happen between certain kinds of people?
Sometimes, competitors become successful by employing questionable practices. Sometimes, they start to guard their stock (or trade secrets or whatever) so much that they lose sight of how they come across to other exhibitors. Sometimes they begin to act as though they are in a different league than the rest. "I'm somebody and you are nobody." Sometimes they start treating people as though they do not matter because their rabbits are not as good. Sometimes they disregard the work and effort of others; only their hard work matters. And sometimes, they show downright bad sportsmanship.
Then, when folks are not longer friendly to them, they decide that they are jealous.
Other times, a perfectly friendly, fair playing person does well in a hobby. Maybe they got a lucky break. Maybe they have the money to give themselves a good start in a breed or species (as if most of us wouldn't do the same if we had the money). Maybe they've just worked quietly and steadily and improved their herd. Pretty soon the dogs are nipping at their heels. "She didn't breed that herself." "He's trying to buy success." "They really lucked up." "Where the heck did she come from? She's nobody!"
So far, it sounds like being successful is doomed to misery. But not necessarily.
There's also the interaction between the perfectly friendly, fair-playing, considerate exhibitor who shares and enjoys the hobby with others and other perfectly friendly, fair-playing, considerate exhibitors who share and enjoy the hobby with others.
These are the folks who can easily be happy for others when they win. These are the folks who would never consider showing a senior as a junior or breaking an ARBA rule on purpose. These are the folks who share information, give of their time, and don't mind selling nice rabbits in their own neighborhoods. These are the folks whose joy is multiplied because they can have a fun, successful show whether it is their own rabbit that wins, whether it is a rabbit they sold, whether it's a rabbit out of their rabbit, or whether it's a rabbit bred and owned by a friend of theirs.
These are the people who are never lonely, whether they are at the top, bottom, or somewhere in between.
Laurie Stroupe
The Nature Trail Rabbitry “Home Of Grand Champions”
Precious Pet Rabbits
Affordable Web Site Design
¶ 8:56 AM
I've heard reports from people around the country that folks are mean to them and the reason is simply that they are successful on the table. Is this just human nature?
I was talking to a feed salesman one day. He judges a different species - something a good bit larger than rabbits. He mentioned that when someone starts winning, folks begin treating them differently. He states that they are envious.
I have a friend who used to show horses. Her report was similar. Once she started winning, suddenly people started ignoring her and treating her with disdain. She said that when she was no threat to the winners in the ring, they were friendly to her. It was only after she became a challenge that their real personalities came out.
So is it inevitable? Or does it only happen between certain kinds of people?
Sometimes, competitors become successful by employing questionable practices. Sometimes, they start to guard their stock (or trade secrets or whatever) so much that they lose sight of how they come across to other exhibitors. Sometimes they begin to act as though they are in a different league than the rest. "I'm somebody and you are nobody." Sometimes they start treating people as though they do not matter because their rabbits are not as good. Sometimes they disregard the work and effort of others; only their hard work matters. And sometimes, they show downright bad sportsmanship.
Then, when folks are not longer friendly to them, they decide that they are jealous.
Other times, a perfectly friendly, fair playing person does well in a hobby. Maybe they got a lucky break. Maybe they have the money to give themselves a good start in a breed or species (as if most of us wouldn't do the same if we had the money). Maybe they've just worked quietly and steadily and improved their herd. Pretty soon the dogs are nipping at their heels. "She didn't breed that herself." "He's trying to buy success." "They really lucked up." "Where the heck did she come from? She's nobody!"
So far, it sounds like being successful is doomed to misery. But not necessarily.
There's also the interaction between the perfectly friendly, fair-playing, considerate exhibitor who shares and enjoys the hobby with others and other perfectly friendly, fair-playing, considerate exhibitors who share and enjoy the hobby with others.
These are the folks who can easily be happy for others when they win. These are the folks who would never consider showing a senior as a junior or breaking an ARBA rule on purpose. These are the folks who share information, give of their time, and don't mind selling nice rabbits in their own neighborhoods. These are the folks whose joy is multiplied because they can have a fun, successful show whether it is their own rabbit that wins, whether it is a rabbit they sold, whether it's a rabbit out of their rabbit, or whether it's a rabbit bred and owned by a friend of theirs.
These are the people who are never lonely, whether they are at the top, bottom, or somewhere in between.
Laurie Stroupe
The Nature Trail Rabbitry “Home Of Grand Champions”
Precious Pet Rabbits
Affordable Web Site Design
¶ 8:56 AM
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Laurie,
I always say I go to the shows for three things, Friends, Fellowship and Fun, winning is just a bonus. I do not mind losing to a better rabbit. And it does not matter to me if the better rabbit is owned by one person or by a co-op if it is a better rabbit than one I show it should win.
Karen Novina
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I always say I go to the shows for three things, Friends, Fellowship and Fun, winning is just a bonus. I do not mind losing to a better rabbit. And it does not matter to me if the better rabbit is owned by one person or by a co-op if it is a better rabbit than one I show it should win.
Karen Novina
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