Monday, October 01, 2007
Didn't Know That
My grandfather, a long, tall Texan who spent his career as a Salvation Army minister, had a 65-year marriage, and managed to gain 26 descendents by producing just two children!
Now, he is nearing the end of his life. I will be flying to Texas soon to be with my mother's side of the family. Anna is going with me.
I was really surprised when I found out that she really wanted to go. Anna has a very good sense of what things cost and evaluates whether it is "worth it" or not. When I told her that it would cost over $500 for her to go, she still insisted that she really wanted to go.
I trust her instincts and respect her feelings, so I told her she could go. But later, I asked her to tell me why it was so important that she attend Pappa's funeral. He lives so far away that we haven't seen him much during Anna's lifetime. I didn't think that she had such a strong connection with him.
She said that even though she hadn't seen him much, she wanted to be able to show how much she loved him. So it was very important to her to be there.
One thing I did know about Anna is that she's a person with deep emotions. She still grieves for her dog that died several years ago. I have no doubt that she loves her great grandfather deeply and needs to go to the funeral. I just didn't know it before now.
This revelation, of course, made me stop and think. If my daughter, whom I am very close to, has such thoughts and feelings that totally surprise me, how much more do the people that I know less well have thoughts, beliefs, goals, dreams, and feelings that would really surprise me?
I'm sure if I were privy to some of them, I wouldn't be too happy about them. I suspect some bunny people, for example, wouldn't mind seeing a top breeder with a broken leg, if it meant they got a chance to win.
But more often, I think that we'd find people who really care about things that we had no idea they cared for. Or are hurt by comments that we carelessly toss around. Or are offended by our thoughtlessness. Or are bolstered more than we can imagine by our compliment. Or are challenged by our gentle, but honest evaluation of their rabbit. Or really make good use of the sound advice we give. The list, I'm sure, could go on and on.
I'm sure we're all familiar with the idea that we should live gently up on this earth, taking care of the natural resources that we have. But I need to remind myself to live gently among earth's people, too. Because I don't know how deep people's feeling run, I'm not privy to their secret thoughts and fears, and I don't always realize how much they need a smile, encouragement, or just a little help.
Laurie ¶ 8:31 AM
Now, he is nearing the end of his life. I will be flying to Texas soon to be with my mother's side of the family. Anna is going with me.
I was really surprised when I found out that she really wanted to go. Anna has a very good sense of what things cost and evaluates whether it is "worth it" or not. When I told her that it would cost over $500 for her to go, she still insisted that she really wanted to go.
I trust her instincts and respect her feelings, so I told her she could go. But later, I asked her to tell me why it was so important that she attend Pappa's funeral. He lives so far away that we haven't seen him much during Anna's lifetime. I didn't think that she had such a strong connection with him.
She said that even though she hadn't seen him much, she wanted to be able to show how much she loved him. So it was very important to her to be there.
One thing I did know about Anna is that she's a person with deep emotions. She still grieves for her dog that died several years ago. I have no doubt that she loves her great grandfather deeply and needs to go to the funeral. I just didn't know it before now.
This revelation, of course, made me stop and think. If my daughter, whom I am very close to, has such thoughts and feelings that totally surprise me, how much more do the people that I know less well have thoughts, beliefs, goals, dreams, and feelings that would really surprise me?
I'm sure if I were privy to some of them, I wouldn't be too happy about them. I suspect some bunny people, for example, wouldn't mind seeing a top breeder with a broken leg, if it meant they got a chance to win.
But more often, I think that we'd find people who really care about things that we had no idea they cared for. Or are hurt by comments that we carelessly toss around. Or are offended by our thoughtlessness. Or are bolstered more than we can imagine by our compliment. Or are challenged by our gentle, but honest evaluation of their rabbit. Or really make good use of the sound advice we give. The list, I'm sure, could go on and on.
I'm sure we're all familiar with the idea that we should live gently up on this earth, taking care of the natural resources that we have. But I need to remind myself to live gently among earth's people, too. Because I don't know how deep people's feeling run, I'm not privy to their secret thoughts and fears, and I don't always realize how much they need a smile, encouragement, or just a little help.
Laurie ¶ 8:31 AM
